Tag Archives: Previvor

Déjà vu

WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below. I can't even

A month after my last surgery, during which we swapped the tissue expander on left and adjusted pocket on right, I am again uniboobin‘ it. Déjà vu? Twilight Zone? Groundhog Year?

Yes, that is right, I have lost another implant. This time it is the right one. Everybody together now: WTF?!? DARN IT! I am really feeling dejected. I literally can’t even … (not me~>)

So what happened this time?

This was different than last year, but the outcome is the same, unfortunately. Sunday during my typical post-shower wound inspection, I noticed that there was a tiny inflamed spot on my right breast on old, already healed incision. It got a bit bigger by end of day. Monday morning I went in to see Dr. M. Both him and one of the nurses suspected it was an internal stitch trying to make its way out.

That’s not so bad, right? Just a little stitch. Dr. M advised me to do a warm compress three times per day and keep a very close eye on it. A couple of days later the area started bulging out and I could see yellow puss inside. Thursday morning I sent an email to Dr. M, with an update but I knew he was in surgery. Early afternoon I did the compress, which made the abscess open. After all the goo drained and the stitch knot came out, I was left with another hole. I knew what was coming :(. Went to see the nurse right away. She took cultures and started making calls to coordinate my surgery for the next day, during which I had the right implant removed, pocket cleaned out, and closed back up without inserting another implant.

So … here I am with one breast again AND I got another drain. Fun fun! I go in for follow up on Monday to find out what is next. This is like a rerun nobody wants to watch. Especially not me. Last year I had exchange 9/3, implant taken out 10/15, expander placed 4/10, exchange surgery 9/11, and this implant out 10/10. At this pace, it will take another year.

Enjoy the visual (kind of gross):

Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

Bra shopping

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WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

My exchange surgery was on September 11. We swapped out the tissue expander on my left and made a pocket revision to correct the implant bottoming out on the right. The follow up appointment was two weeks later. Everything feels and looks relatively good. Some twinges of pain here and there, but that is to be expected. As far as my results: small issue, but it’s still early as things will change and settle for a while. My next follow up is at six weeks.

I have been wearing this sexy little hospital-issued number almost 24/7 and was hoping to hear that I could ditch it. Well, I can burn that one, but I do need to continue wearing something. It should be wire-free, but have a tight band. I set out bra shopping this weekend and quickly became frustrated! The first two stores didn’t even carry a 32. I ended at Victoria’s Secret, where I should have started, but that was tiring too. It seems that out of the 23049814 bras VS carries, only a few are wire-free.

First tried on the Perfect Comfort Demi Push-Up in 32DD. Too much padding, I’m still spilling out (no DDD), and the VS girl didn’t know her shit – it has an underwire. I went home with two of the Sexy Tee Wireless Bra in 32D. It truly is wire-free and has no extra padding.

VS bras

Update: I also went to Nordstrom Monday. My location does not work with United Healthcare, but they offered to provide the paperwork and I can file it myself for UHC to review and decide on.

I didn’t mention this option originally, but should have. As Joyce wrote in the post comments, Nordstrom has fitters and works with most insurance companies for post-mastectomy bra needs. They will find the right bra and file paperwork for the insurance company to cover the expense. Appointment required.

I bought How Perfect by Wacoal in 32D. It is super soft! Love it.

The results

As I mentioned things are looking pretty good, but I do see a small issue: asymmetry. Prior to this surgery my right implant had bottomed out and was lower than the left. Now I am seeing the opposite, although not as much of a difference. I also have a sneaking suspicion that my right side is getting tighter, which may be a sign of capsular contracture, but I don’t want to panic just yet and continue to massage like Dr. M advised.

It is still early and things will continue changing. This may be a non-issue in a few months or it may be worse .. we shall see. In any case, I am just pointing out what I see now. I have not lost sight of the big picture and reason for all of this: I said NOPE to breast cancer! In the words of the wise Casey Eischen: “Prevention, not perfection.” 🙂 ❤

These things really don’t look like a D naked, but you know bras are like jeans: there are multiple ways to measure and it seems like every brand does it their own way. The bras I bought will serve for the next month. After that I hope I can go bra-free.

Reminder: Mentor round, smooth, high profile silicone implants in 450ccs.

Fitness

Projection waffles

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I am such a waffler! Why is this so hard? I already decided that I am not swapping the implant I have for something else! Yet here I am, still thinking about it. I remember this .. this is how the whole “should I keep my nipples” thing went. Remember how that turned out? I think I made the wrong decision then. I want to make the right one now.

At my pre-op appointment last week I signed consent forms*, gave blood, got prescriptions for Norco and Cipro, and played around with some implants. Here are two silicone implants that are both 400ccs. The left implant is high profile, the right one is ultra high profile. The ultra high profile version is narrower at the base, and has more projection.

So last time: do I keep my Mentor round, smooth, high profile, 450cc silicone implant and match it on the other side or do I go for an ultra high profile version? As I said in my last post, I am not disappointed with what I have, but we could improve on projection. Here are some more answers that helped me come to the FINAL final decision:

Will replacing the existing implant increase risk of capsular contracture? Even if we choose to keep the current implant, it will be removed to resolve the issue causing bottoming out. Either way, it is coming out and then something is going back in. Risk unchanged. (I didn’t realize this. I thought we’d fix it without taking the implant out.)
Current implant has zero rippling (woo hoo!). Will a higher profile create that issue? It is impossible to predict this. Many factors come into play. Unknown.
Will any pocket revision be needed? Goal would be to choose a UHP implant size with the base width close to current implant, so that no pocket tightening is needed.
So how much difference in projection can we achieve with a swap? Depends on what size implant we choose. We went to the Mentor product guide to check dimensions.

This is what I have in now:

The UHP implant with the closest base width is 590ccs! That is just not going to happen. I don’t want the “done” look. My tissue expander is at 550ccs and it is already too much for my taste. I wouldn’t mind a little more projection, but that will come with overall increase in volume = bigger foobs. I am not comfortable with that idea. The options are:

We could do a 480cc or 535cc UHP implant, but the increase in projection is minimal (1cm at most, which is about the length of a finger nail) and I like my size now. So while yes, we’re going in there and the implant is coming out anyway, I love the fact that I have no ripples and that I know what I will look like on the other side. Let’s do only what we really have to and hope for the best! Fingers crossed surgery #5 will be a huge success and I will be DONE!

*Carefully read your consent forms before you sign them. You do have the option to strike out or refuse some of the things you may not agree with. I do not consent to medical students/residents, fellows, or visiting surgeons performing any part of my procedures. I understand the need for teaching opportunities, but my plastic surgeon is the only one I want touching me (with the exception of his regular surgical assistants and OR staff).

Last expansion of round 2

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WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

For the second time now, I am excited to declare that I am done with expansions! Yes, I’m celebrating just like I did last year when I finished the process then. We added 50ccs to the expander on my left (right in pic below), for a total of 550ccs. I now wait until September 11 for my exchange surgery. Time to bring back the calendar countdown thingie!

During my appointment, I had an opportunity to discuss the upcoming procedure with my plastic surgeon. I wanted him to eyeball things, make sure everything is OK, and confirm that all we are doing is taking out a tissue expander and placing the Mentor round, smooth, high profile, silicone implant in 450ccs.

Well, it looks like the implant on my right is making the trek south again – bottoming out. This means that during the exchange surgery, Dr. M will have to go in on my right side and close up the pocket from the bottom. This is what he did in April, so I’m concerned about whether or not this will hold. He explained that this time he will do the vest-over-pants (overlapping) closure, which should hold tight. I sure hope so, because I’m counting down to surgery #5 and now at 1.5+ years into this thing. I do not want any more surgeries!

We also discussed the current implant and whether I am happy with its size and the shape. I’m not unhappy, let’s just say that, but I did ask about the difference between high and ultra high profiles. Dr. M will look into the specific measurements and we will discuss when he returns from vacay. If there was something to improve on, projection would be it, but after discussing with the hub I am thinking that I don’t even want to go there. He agrees.

This is a 450cc silicone implant on the left of pic and a 550cc tissue expander on the right.

Nippies

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After my prophylactic bilateral mastectomy in January ’13, the left breast became necrotic from the incision up to my nipple. The scab that formed as the area healed eventually fell off taking my left nipple tip with it. Just the tip. It never grew back so I have one full nipple on the right and just the areola on the left. This makes for some awkward headlight moments.

What’s more awkward than two hard nipples?

Well, ONE! Although the remaining nip isn’t 100%, meaning I don’t have full sensation as I did pre-PBM, it still responds to stimuli. Every time I drive, for example, the seat belt rubs in just the right spot, so when I get out of the car, the right nipple is always “on.” If I was wearing bras, this wouldn’t be an issue, but I’m not, so I am usually sporting one headlight. I know .. it’s not that obvious and not everybody will notice, but I know it’s there!

One headlight

In an old post I went through the options that I face if I want to do something about the nip:

Do nothing
Get a 3D tattoo
Reconstruct the lost nipple via skin graft or skate flap
Remove the other nipple

I want to do something and it looks like it’ll be #4. My plastic surgeon can to this during an in-office procedure, but we will wait until I am healed from my next and hopefully last surgery in September. I am aiming to be finished by end of 2014.

In the meantime, he recommended I try Bristol Six Nippies. I have seen other women recommend this product on the various message boards and now I am recommending it too. These things are awesome! They are silicone nipple pasties that can be either inserted into a bra or cami or worn directly on the skin. I have the latter version, which is coated with an adhesive and sticks right where you put it, for many hours. Nippies Skin are seamless rounds that come in light, medium, and dark tones that blend into the skin. The medium version is pictured below. The also come in other colors and designs, including tassels!

This is what they look like under the shirt. Yes, jerk cat IS judging you.

Are my breasts uneven?

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WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

Two months after my most recent surgery I now have the same volume in my tissue expander as I do in my implant. We added 50ccs to the expander, for a total of 450ccs. Even though they are the same, they are uneven. I am at the perfect point to show the difference between the look of expanders versus that of implants.

The tissue expanders are hard, sit high up on the chest wall, and have more projection. Implants are soft, pliable, and more natural. Women who have been through the process and had their exchange surgery often say they are disappointed with size. In a 1-to-1 volume swap, the differences between these two types of devices are to blame.

Here I am as of today: 450cc tissue expander and 450cc implant (Mentor, round, smooth, high profile, silicone). Can you tell which side is which? The one with the lighter areola is the expander. From the front, they don’t look that much different, but from the side or top you can see that the expander is narrower and sticks out further than the implant.

When I was going through the expansion process after my prophylactic mastectomy, I reached my happy point at 400ccs. Having read and heard that women are often disappointed with their size post-exchange, I gave myself a cushion and declared that I wanted 450cc implants. That’s what I ultimately got (took a while to get there, but I’m there) and I’m glad that I decided to do a little extra. I am very happy with the implant size.

My plastic surgeon overfills by 100ccs, so I have two more expansions to do. Then I wait a couple of months for my exchange surgery on September 11. This is going to be a weird summer with high temperatures, skimpy tops, and two different size boobs. Oh well. I already spent six months with a single boob, so how bad could this be, right? 😀

FoobieFitness.com

Updates galore

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WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

Mother’s Day sucked

This was the first US Mother’s Day without my mom, who had ovarian cancer and died in November. Last week was rough. May 8th was World Ovarian Cancer Day and May 11th US Mother’s Day. Seeing everyone posting photos of celebrations with mom was really difficult. I know many of you reading this understand, because you have also lost your mom.

nope2BC is a success!

I spent the weekend doing my best to occupy myself with other things, such as painting, moving furniture, and shopping. I finally did something with the spare room that has been empty since we moved into this house seven years ago: it is now my crafting room.

Did I tell you the FORCE jewelry fundraiser lead me to start my own business? Yup .. nope2BC – Saying NOPE to Breast Cancer. Come see and Like on Facebook. I am making and selling cancer awareness themed jewelry and donating all proceeds to FORCE. I opened an Etsy shop and have also participated in a few local craft fairs and art expos. Over $1,000 has already been raised, which is way more than I expected to make in such a short period of time. I am ecstatic that it has done so well! I have another event tonight and many more coming later this year. I have lost count!

Recap of my reconstruction journey

Moving on to an update of where I am in the breast reconstruction process. First, I’d like to recap my journey for those of you who recently started reading this blog:

01/2013 – Prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with tissue expander placement
100ccs @ PBM, necrosis on left breast, hyperbaric oxygen therapy, fills delayed for two months, lost left nipple tip, expanded up to 550ccs
09/2013 – Exchange surgery
550cc expanders > 350cc Mentor round, smooth, high profile, silicone implants
10/2013 – Infection and left implant removal
Necrosis scar tissue broke down, hole developed, infection followed, implant had to go
04/2014 – Revision surgery
300cc tissue expander on left, swap to 450cc implant on right
08/2014 – Planned exchange surgery

Expansions are a go

Five weeks after my most recent surgery I finally had my first expansion. We added 50ccs to the expander on my left, for a total of 350ccs. Our goal is 550ccs, so four more expansions to go. My exchange surgery is scheduled for August 19. We are going to be cutting it close with only about four weeks between last expansion and exchange. If I wuss out again and need to lower the expansion volume, I will have to push the surgery into September. Just two days after the fill, I am sore, but it is no surprise. Next expansion: May 30.