Déjà vu

WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.I can't even

A month after my last surgery, during which we swapped the tissue expander on left and adjusted pocket on right, I am again uniboobin‘ it. Déjà vu? Twilight Zone? Groundhog Year?

Yes, that is right, I have lost another implant. This time it is the right one. Everybody together now: WTF?!? DARN IT! I am really feeling dejected. I literally can’t even … (not me~>)

So what happened this time?

This was different than last year, but the outcome is the same, unfortunately. Sunday during my typical post-shower wound inspection, I noticed that there was a tiny inflamed spot on my right breast on old, already healed incision. It got a bit bigger by end of day. Monday morning I went in to see Dr. M. Both him and one of the nurses suspected it was an internal stitch trying to make its way out.

That’s not so bad, right? Just a little stitch. Dr. M advised me to do a warm compress three times per day and keep a very close eye on it. A couple of days later the area started bulging out and I could see yellow puss inside. Thursday morning I sent an email to Dr. M, with an update but I knew he was in surgery. Early afternoon I did the compress, which made the abscess open. After all the goo drained and the stitch knot came out, I was left with another hole. I knew what was coming :(. Went to see the nurse right away. She took cultures and started making calls to coordinate my surgery for the next day, during which I had the right implant removed, pocket cleaned out, and closed back up without inserting another implant.

So … here I am with one breast again AND I got another drain. Fun fun! I go in for follow up on Monday to find out what is next. This is like a rerun nobody wants to watch. Especially not me. Last year I had exchange 9/3, implant taken out 10/15, expander placed 4/10, exchange surgery 9/11, and this implant out 10/10. At this pace, it will take another year.

Enjoy the visual (kind of gross):


29 thoughts on “Déjà vu

  1. The Presents of Presence

    I endured a similar nightmare with my implants. Had 2 sets finally removed all together and used my own body skin/fat to make breasts which are warm and soft and cancer-free. I am sending you heartfelt healing hugs b/c I know how ugly this is for you and I feel for you for I have been there myself. The frustration mounts as we endure more and more…♥

  2. Joyce Kahn

    Fingers crossed ! the situation sucks! I had bilateral total mast in Oct of 2013. I am undergoing similar. My round implants are migrating toward my umbilical area- left falling down faster so lopsided also turning into one large uniboob! The wrinkling is also getting worse. Don’t mean to sound like I expect perfection – just don’t want this degree of deformity after all the surgeries. Set to redo and fix pockets with using tear drop implants this time.

    1. nope2BC Post author

      😦 I’m sorry that you are going through issues too. Any idea what is causing your issues? We deserve to have results that won’t make us cringe when looking in the mirror. I hope they can accomplish a good outcome with the redo. Thanks for your comment.

  3. beth g.

    oh honey! bless your heart!!! I am sooo very sorry! I can only somewhat imagine the distress you feel! and ya know, I know we aren’t in the running for playmate of the year with perfect boobies, but doggoneit! why does it have to be such a bother???? im not 100 % happy and I keep saying in a mantra “i didn’t do it for the looks but good grief why cant they stay put???

    1. nope2BC Post author

      Thank you, Beth. Prevention, not perfection, right? You’ve said a couple of times that you are DONE and not going under again. How long this the whole process take for you?

  4. lightscanceraction

    I’m so sorry to hear this. It sounds so totally frustrating. If at any time I question why I didn’t do reconstruction, it’s stories like these. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Third time’s the charm, right? ((hugs))

  5. Joyce Kahn

    Will let u know. Just want to look a little normal. Luckily have 3 very supportive daughters. Two will be at surgery and one is staying w me for a few days post op. Just took a quick trip to Zion and Bryce for soul generating before going thru this again. Strongly rec both or either to recharge and nurture spirit and soul.

    1. nope2BC Post author

      Glad to know you have support around you. Good idea on getting recharged. I am looking forward to a trip to see my family on the other side of the pond in December. Can’t wait.

  6. Brenda

    Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers. I too went through something similar. I ruptured one of my incisions 4 weeks post op. To make a difficult (many complications) story short I underwent 12 surgeries in 3 years to correct my rupture. I know that my story is NOT typical. Many people have asked if I would do the prophylactic double mastectomy again and my answer is ALWAYS – YES!!! Just do things a little differently (expanders then implants)

  7. robin


    WTF is right! And OMG and a whole bunch more words with four letters. I’m so sorry. There are no words. Amazing attitude you have is all I can say. You rock even if your body doesn’t.

    It seems so odd that I have been over and done with for a year and yet you and your blog were my mentor, inspiration and light at the end of the tunnel, being ahead of my surgeries by about 6 months.

    I so wish I could give you something more tangible than words in return!


    1. nope2BC Post author

      Thanks, Robin. I really appreciate the warm words and positive thoughts. It means a lot to know that I was able to help you through your journey. I’ll get there eventually and then we can all celebrate. 🙂 ❤

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