It has been almost a month from the day my right implant was taken out. Since then I have had my drain removed, celebrated my 34th birthday, ordered another breast prosthesis, developed a seroma, had a poking stitch pulled out, scheduled my next surgery for April 9, 2015, had my bi-annual ovarian screening ultrasound, and went to a Boobvoyage party for a friend getting ready for her PBM (which is today), among many other things. It was also breast cancer awareness month, which meant lots of local events representing FORCE and supporting our community. It has been a busy month.
Today, just like any day, I am thinking of my mom. But on this day, I am overwhelmed by grief. It is one year since she died.
I am sad she is not here to celebrate the birthdays, offer her support, or be on the other end of the phone or Skype conversation to share even the mundane little things in life. I am sad that my dad lost his best friend and soul mate. I am sad that my sister is probably feeling the same things I am and that my nephew lost his loving, caring, spoiling-him-rotten grandmother. I am sad that my mom is not here to live her life and take part in ours. I am sad that my family has been so deeply affected by cancer and suffered so much loss. I am sad and still hurting.
Each and every day I think about and miss her.