Are my breasts uneven?

WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

Two months after my most recent surgery I now have the same volume in my tissue expander as I do in my implant. We added 50ccs to the expander, for a total of 450ccs. Even though they are the same, they are uneven. I am at the perfect point to show the difference between the look of expanders versus that of implants.

The tissue expanders are hard, sit high up on the chest wall, and have more projection. Implants are soft, pliable, and more natural. Women who have been through the process and had their exchange surgery often say they are disappointed with size. In a 1-to-1 volume swap, the differences between these two types of devices are to blame.

Here I am as of today: 450cc tissue expander and 450cc implant (Mentor, round, smooth, high profile, silicone). Can you tell which side is which? The one with the lighter areola is the expander. From the front, they don’t look that much different, but from the side or top you can see that the expander is narrower and sticks out further than the implant.

When I was going through the expansion process after my prophylactic mastectomy, I reached my happy point at 400ccs. Having read and heard that women are often disappointed with their size post-exchange, I gave myself a cushion and declared that I wanted 450cc implants. That’s what I ultimately got (took a while to get there, but I’m there) and I’m glad that I decided to do a little extra. I am very happy with the implant size.

My plastic surgeon overfills by 100ccs, so I have two more expansions to do. Then I wait a couple of months for my exchange surgery on September 11. This is going to be a weird summer with high temperatures, skimpy tops, and two different size boobs. Oh well. I already spent six months with a single boob, so how bad could this be, right? 😀

FoobieFitness.com

Updates galore

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WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

Mother’s Day sucked

This was the first US Mother’s Day without my mom, who had ovarian cancer and died in November. Last week was rough. May 8th was World Ovarian Cancer Day and May 11th US Mother’s Day. Seeing everyone posting photos of celebrations with mom was really difficult. I know many of you reading this understand, because you have also lost your mom.

nope2BC is a success!

I spent the weekend doing my best to occupy myself with other things, such as painting, moving furniture, and shopping. I finally did something with the spare room that has been empty since we moved into this house seven years ago: it is now my crafting room.

Did I tell you the FORCE jewelry fundraiser lead me to start my own business? Yup .. nope2BC – Saying NOPE to Breast Cancer. Come see and Like on Facebook. I am making and selling cancer awareness themed jewelry and donating all proceeds to FORCE. I opened an Etsy shop and have also participated in a few local craft fairs and art expos. Over $1,000 has already been raised, which is way more than I expected to make in such a short period of time. I am ecstatic that it has done so well! I have another event tonight and many more coming later this year. I have lost count!

Recap of my reconstruction journey

Moving on to an update of where I am in the breast reconstruction process. First, I’d like to recap my journey for those of you who recently started reading this blog:

01/2013 – Prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with tissue expander placement
100ccs @ PBM, necrosis on left breast, hyperbaric oxygen therapy, fills delayed for two months, lost left nipple tip, expanded up to 550ccs
09/2013 – Exchange surgery
550cc expanders > 350cc Mentor round, smooth, high profile, silicone implants
10/2013 – Infection and left implant removal
Necrosis scar tissue broke down, hole developed, infection followed, implant had to go
04/2014 – Revision surgery
300cc tissue expander on left, swap to 450cc implant on right
08/2014 – Planned exchange surgery

Expansions are a go

Five weeks after my most recent surgery I finally had my first expansion. We added 50ccs to the expander on my left, for a total of 350ccs. Our goal is 550ccs, so four more expansions to go. My exchange surgery is scheduled for August 19. We are going to be cutting it close with only about four weeks between last expansion and exchange. If I wuss out again and need to lower the expansion volume, I will have to push the surgery into September. Just two days after the fill, I am sore, but it is no surprise. Next expansion: May 30.

World Ovarian Cancer Day

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Today is four weeks since my last op, but more importantly it is World Ovarian Cancer Day.

Ovarian cancer is the most serious gynecological cancer with the highest mortality rate and has no standard or routine screening test. Symptoms are often confused with GI conditions. Most patients are identified in advanced stages due to attributing their symptoms to “that time of the month” or “just something I ate” and not seeking medical help.

Sadly and tragically, this is my mom’s story. She had some of the symptoms listed. Her and her doctors thought she had GI issues. An endoscopic procedure discovered a fist-size tumor that turned out to be ovarian cancer. I previously posted more of her story: WOCD 2013 post. She lived for a little over a year. I think about and miss her every day. FUCK YOU, CANCER!

Know the symptoms. Ladies, please talk to your doctor if you are experiencing any of them.

Anti ode to the surgical drain

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A week after my revision surgery, I am happy to say that the drain is finally gone! Out of eight drains that I’ve had to endure, only two have caused me pain when being pulled out. This one was brutal. Tears-in-my-eyes, screaming-on-the-inside, get-this-thing-out-of-me type of pain. I felt every inch of it coming out. The pain was about an 11. Good riddance!

Pain Scale

Things are healing well and looking great. I am very happy with my right side and the volume we ended up with. Also glad to say that there is no necrosis in sight and bruising is at a minimum. I will keep an eye out for a seroma, now that the drain is gone, but don’t expect an issue. Antibiotics have been refilled for another week and my first expansion appointment is scheduled for May 14. I leave you today with my anti ode to the drain:

Surgical drain, o surgical drain
You are a necessary evil
But you cause much pain
Like a device that’s primeval

Waking up with you attached
Is more than a disappointment
You truly were a nuisance
Your level of awkwardness unmatched
I hated all the discomfort
I felt like a mutant

Your home was my armpit
You stayed way too long
You were my hate’s target
You really just din’t belong

You caused me much anger
And a lot of disgust
Anxious to rid of you
You felt like a dagger
You, I have freely cussed
Very happy to say adieu

Pain in my a…xilla

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WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

No, it wasn’t all a bad dream; yes, I did get a tissue expander 😦

During my follow up appointment with Dr. M we discussed the reason for this: with nothing separating the pec muscle and my ribs, the tissue on my left breast adhered to them. This wasn’t a surprise, but Dr. M had to do some extra work to prep the pocket again. He went in through my armpit to avoid messing with the incision site that gave us necrosis and later the breakdown that caused an infection. He shared photos he took during the procedure illustrating the adhesion and how he separated and cauterized it:

This helps explain why my left side hurts so darn much! In addition to the internal sculpting, I also have a large incision and the drain tube in my armpit. Doing my best to not move my left arm! I’m still Norco-ing it up every six hours and the drain has been kicking out close to 100mL/day. I went in on Friday with the expectation that I’d be leaving it behind, but at this rate, I’m not sure we’ll be able to remove it when I go back on Monday.

Next steps?

So now what? Well, the right side looks great! The pocket closure and bump in size to 450ccs seems to have done the trick. The other side needs a lot of work to catch up, though. We must wait a few weeks for things to heal before we begin the expansion process. The tissue expander has 300ccs of saline and our goal is 550ccs (Dr. M over-expands). Last year’s expansions were in increments of 50ccs, every other week. Then we wait four weeks until the exchange, which puts us out to sometime in August. Here’s to another awkward summer!

Now some good news …

I have been downing Sunsweet Prune Juice, oatmeal with flax, and lots of water in an effort to avoid that dreaded post-op constipation. I also tried Smooth Move tea for the first time. I am happy to report: I pooped today! 😀

pooping

FORCE jewelry fundraiser

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EXCITING NEWS: I have launched yet another fun fundraiser to benefit FORCE: Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered!

This time I am making and selling cancer awareness themed jewelry. Started with bracelets in many different styles, sizes, and colors (not just pink and teal). Now that I have some free time on my hands while I recover, this is a great way to keep busy! Other products coming soon. I am taking custom orders too!

I am really excited about this fun project and supporting such a great organization, which has helped me and many others facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer. These bracelets are great for previvors, survivors .. those undergoing treatment .. families and caretakers! Buy and wear (or gift) this hand made cancer awareness jewelry to show your your love, support, and warrior spirit.

I hope you love these as much as I love making them. I donate all proceeds from this fundraiser to FORCE: Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered (www.FacingOurRisk.org). FORCE is a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the lives of individuals and families affected by hereditary breast and ovarian cancer. People like me and many of you.

Please visit my Etsy shop to see more styles and place an order. Mother’s Day is coming up! These bracelets make great gifts! As I mentioned, I am taking custom orders too, so if you’d like to purchase one, but don’t see something you like. Send me a note!

P.S. Recovery update coming soon. Going to my follow up appointment later this afternoon.

Yup, tissue expander

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Darn it! Yes, it’s a tissue expander. There was too much scar tissue in there, so we are playing it safe. I’m OK with that … I like safe. Also, yes, I do have a drain and yes, I still hate them!

On my right side, we were able to go up to 450ccs and alter the pocket. From what I can see so far, things are looking OK. I will take photos tomorrow after my dressings are off and this pesky drain is out.

The procedure took about four hours and I only stuck around for a little bit after. The Tiddy Bear came in handy for the ride home. I ❤ these things! My throat is sore and my chest does hurt, especially on the left side where I have the tissue expander. No surprise there. No showering until tomorrow after I see Dr. M for my follow up. Until then I look as if I was choked by an Oompa Loompa, because of the pre-surgery scrub on my neck :).

Thank you all for the massive amount of positive energy and prayers sent my way. ❤ ❤ ❤

Hubby has been taking really great care of me. I just took delivery of a green smoothie to drink with my Norco. He keeps reminding me to stay on my ass and take it easy. We don’t want a repeat of last year. Nope! My two kitties have not left my side since we got home. You can’t see the other one, because she is under the blanket, spooning my leg. LOL

Recovery buddy

Box o’ recovery crap

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Counting down the hours! My surgery is scheduled for 8:30am on Thursday and should last about three hours. We are doing reconstruction on my left/flat side and pocket revision plus implant swap on the right side. I’m excited to finally get here after the six-month wait, but I’m also very nervous. Not knowing what is waiting for me is uncomfortable.

My bedside box o’ recovery crap is ready! I used my PBM checklist to gather the essentials:

Water
Back scratcher
Tissues
Tiara (of course!)
Digital thermometer
Scissors
Tape
Measuring cup
Alcohol swabs
Chap stick
Phone and charger
Rubber gloves
Snacks
Medications
Camera
Lanyard (I will very likely have a drain or two)
Hand sanitizer
Lotion
Cough drops
Note pad and pen
Kindle

I think I’ve got it covered. Don’t you? Now I just need to pack my hospital bag. I expect to be home in the afternoon, so this should be quick. Wish me luck! Talk to you later ‘gaters.

No whining

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Whambulance It looks like it will be a tissue expander after all. Waaah! Not what I wanted to hear. Somebody call the whaaambulance, STAT!

Dr. M and I discussed this yesterday during my pre-op appointment and unfortunately, he will likely be inserting an expander rather than an implant. There is a chance that one will not be needed, but as I mentioned, that is unknown until he goes in there, so planning on an expander. What a disappointment! I am hoping this won’t happen, but definitely not counting on it. Major bummer.

kik Deflated = this is how I felt when I left Dr. M’s office. It means surgery #5 is in my future and probably not until some time in August. Another summer with a tissue expander, more appointments, many more uncomfortable moments :(. BUT I got over it after reading the text my husband sent me in reply to my rant. I took a deep breath and exhaled all those thoughts out of my system. Expander fills suck and can be very uncomfortable, BUT chemotherapy side effects are much more uncomfortable. Doing this, all of this, is worth it.

So NO MORE WHINING! It is what it is and I trust Dr. M will make the best decision after assessing the state of my tissue and skin. And yes, it will be over before I know it. What I know I don’t want is more complications as a result of trying to rush things.

In addition to talking about this, we discussed the low pocket and implant size. During the procedure the pocket will be closed up a bit and I will get a larger implant on my right side – we are shooting for 450ccs. There’s a chance of fat grafting around the implant. Not sure where the donor site will be, but I know this means lots of bruising and more pain.

Less than two weeks to go! I leave you with a short video of me playing with a busted cohesive silicone gel implant while waiting for my appointment. Even if ruptured, the gel stays within the silicone capsule, unless pressure is applied. It returns to the capsule when released:

http://youtu.be/wn4gWJ8JlNw