It looks like it will be a tissue expander after all. Waaah! Not what I wanted to hear. Somebody call the whaaambulance, STAT!
Dr. M and I discussed this yesterday during my pre-op appointment and unfortunately, he will likely be inserting an expander rather than an implant. There is a chance that one will not be needed, but as I mentioned, that is unknown until he goes in there, so planning on an expander. What a disappointment! I am hoping this won’t happen, but definitely not counting on it. Major bummer.
Deflated = this is how I felt when I left Dr. M’s office. It means surgery #5 is in my future and probably not until some time in August. Another summer with a tissue expander, more appointments, many more uncomfortable moments :(. BUT I got over it after reading the text my husband sent me in reply to my rant. I took a deep breath and exhaled all those thoughts out of my system. Expander fills suck and can be very uncomfortable, BUT chemotherapy side effects are much more uncomfortable. Doing this, all of this, is worth it.
So NO MORE WHINING! It is what it is and I trust Dr. M will make the best decision after assessing the state of my tissue and skin. And yes, it will be over before I know it. What I know I don’t want is more complications as a result of trying to rush things.
In addition to talking about this, we discussed the low pocket and implant size. During the procedure the pocket will be closed up a bit and I will get a larger implant on my right side – we are shooting for 450ccs. There’s a chance of fat grafting around the implant. Not sure where the donor site will be, but I know this means lots of bruising and more pain.
Less than two weeks to go! I leave you with a short video of me playing with a busted cohesive silicone gel implant while waiting for my appointment. Even if ruptured, the gel stays within the silicone capsule, unless pressure is applied. It returns to the capsule when released:
Saying NOPE to Breast Cancer 
Aw…chin up buttercup! LOL You have a good attitude and I know you’ll make it through! It’s OK to be pissed off..remember it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on. I’ll be looking for you surgery announcement posts.
Thank you. I had my moment and am OK now. What can I do about it, right? I’ll be sure to keep the blog updated. On the bright side … I will have stuff to write about for at least a few more months, rather than being done this month. 🙂
Oh, for the love of–! You have had a rough road, sister, and you’re welcome to whine if you need to–if it’s helping you cope, whine away! If perspective and justification (re: chemo) is helping you cope, that’s okay, too.
And my implants are like that one from the video–they ripple a bit if I’m leaning forward and they move (last surgery was May 2013), but otherwise I’m pleased. Now if only I could do something about these perma-nip-ons! Gah!
Which reminds me (re: perspective), your last post talking of evening up your nipples and the awkwardness of a single nip-on made me appreciate my perpetual headlights a little more. I think everyone gets stuck with something less than their envisioned ideal (my new girls are also slightly uneven–less than .5cm off, so wearing anything striped is an, erm, adventure), but really? It’s not the body we’re born with… of course it’ll take some getting used to.
And lastly–that text exchange made me teary. Mr Lannis and I’ve had pretty much the same conversation. Thank goodness for great support!
Good luck on the 10th!
Thank you! You’re right, there will probably be something to focus on and be annoyed about anyway. One of the things that bugs me is when they say .. well, natural breasts aren’t perfect or even, so it’s OK, lighten up. We are *making* new breasts! We can make them do whatever we want, why can’t we put a little bit more effort into it and make them perfect? LOL
Fingers crossed all goes well
Thanks!
So sorry you have to go through an expander again. I hope the surgery/surgeri
es and recovery go better than in the past. Maybe this time everything will go textbook perfect! Best wishes! I want you to be done but will miss your blog! It has helped me along my own journey. Thanks!
Thank you, April. It brings a smile to my face to know I’ve helped you by blogging my own experience. That’s what it’s all about! ❤
Boo!! Hiss! Okay, I see that you are moving forward so I will as well.
LOL boo hiss is right!