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Check out my blog: Saying NOPE to Breast Cancer

Fifth expansion

WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

In other news: I had my fifth expansion. 50ccs have been added to each expander, for a total of 400ccs/side. We’re getting there.

184ccs vs. 400ccs

184ccs (pre-op) vs. 400ccs

I am very happy with how these things are looking so far. Compared to how expanders usually look on women, mine have a pretty natural shape. A bit lop-sided, with righty higher up than lefty, because of how the internal pockets healed post-op. The right pocket closed up a little bit on the bottom, so the expander sits higher in my chest, but it’s not too bad. This will be fixed during the exchange surgery in September.

I have a few more decisions to make before September. Mainly: will I get silicone or saline implants, what shape will they be, and what am I going to do about my nipples. If you’ve been following me for a bit (or can tell from the photos), you know that I lost one of my nipples to necrosis. I need to figure out what I’m going to do about it. The options are:

  • Nothing
  • Reconstruct the lost nipple via skin graft or skate flap
  • Get a 3D tattoo
  • Remove the other nipple

I can’t decide what is best. On one hand, I went through all this trouble, so why give up now, but on the other, I just don’t think I’m going to like the aesthetic result if I do nothing or reconstruct/tattoo just one. What’s more awkward than two hard nipples? ONE! I like symmetry. I think I’m going to remove the other one and maybe reconstruct them both. Not 100% on that though. We shall see.

Here are the pics. Big difference between what 100ccs looked like after my mastectomy in January and the 400ccs I have today.

2013_5_24 fills

100 + 50 +75 +75 + 50 + 50 = 400ccs

Self-exams

You can be a heroine, you can be a powerful villain, but you are not immune. Ladies, do your self-exams! I ❤ this ad campaign created for Mozambique Fashion Week.

Speaking of Mozambique, do you have any gently used-bras you can donate? Free the Girls!

Nobody’s Immune to Breast Cancer. When we talk about breast cancer, there’s no women or superwomen. Everybody has to do the self-examination monthly. Fight with us against this enemy and, when in doubt, talk with your doctor. – Associação da Luta Contra o Cancer (ALCC)

ALCC Wonder Woman

ALCC Cat Woman

ALCC Hulk

ALCC Storm

Post-op resistance training

Level 3 exercises are here!

I’ve mentioned in a couple of previous posts, that I began doing simple range of motion exercises while still in the hospital bed on the day of the prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. I was following Casey Eischen’s program. Casey is a fitness expert and nutrition coach that is certified in training women who are recovering from breast cancer and related treatment or surgery.

If you have not yet seen Casey’s first video or want to learn more about her, see: Post-op exercises or Foobie Fitness.

Here is the next video in the series with level 3 exercises. It is for those that are at least six weeks out from their mastectomy and includes more stretches plus a great resistance training routine.

As with starting any diet or exercise program, always consult with your doctor.

Semantics or why I hate the phrase “Angie’s gene”

Since Angelina Jolie decided to share her story, revealing that she underwent a prophylactic mastectomy and is a carrier of a BRCA1 gene mutation, I have been reading and privately reacting to all of the articles, blog posts, TV clips, radio interviews, and the commentary attached to them. Majority of the pieces are positive, some are negative, some are straight up offensive, some convey plain ignorance, and some are just wrong. I have been jotting down (on a napkin) the things that I wanted to address and planned on doing that on this blog.

Until yesterday … when I came across this blog post by Amber, who writes redd in the cities, It is just brilliant and captures everything (and more) that I wanted to share. Please take a few minutes to read Semantics or why I hate the phrase “Angie’s gene” and stop by Amber’s blog to learn more about her and her story.

Reblogged from redd in the cities:

explicitsemanticsLast week, I decided I wanted a reuben sandwich, and I was missing sauerkraut. Now, for my reubens, not just any sauerkraut will do. Nope, I have to have the best stuff, and there’s only one place I know of that carries it nearby. So I got in my car, strapped myself in, drove to the co-op that carries it and paid an ungodly amount for The Best Sauerkraut In The World. I got home, laid out all my ingredients and started drooling at the prospect of my delicious, most-craved reuben.

And then I couldn’t open the jar.

Why am I telling you this story? Well, it’s simple, really. I couldn’t open the jar because decreased strength in one’s pectoral muscles is a side-effect of breast reconstruction with expanders. This time ten months ago, I couldn’t even have strapped myself into a car, or even driven, for that matter. It’s little things like this that are the reality of life post-op – whether you’re me, or Angelina Jolie, or the thousands of other women who have opted for preventive mastectomy and reconstruction.

As a third-shifter, I am also up at ungodly hours of the night, so imagine my pleasant surprise when a member of my support group posted an op-ed on the New York Times regarding medical choices when faced with a diagnosis of a BRCA mutation. Then imagine my surprise when, halfway down the article, I read the phrase ‘my partner, Brad Pitt’. My eyes flew up to the top of the page and there it was, in that stark gray New York Times text: ‘by Angelina Jolie’.

I didn’t quite know it then, but the next 48 hours would be full of fielding questions, editing personal stories for Young Previvors, and tweetbombing a few of my personal favorite celebrities (sorry, Natalie Morales and Gideon Emery!) It’s only just now that I’ve actually had time to pen a few thoughts about what’s been going on.

Like most of my sistren in my support group, I was simultaneously thrilled by the prospect of an A-list celebrity speaking up and lending awareness to hereditary breast and ovarian cancer and dismayed by the media and public reception of said announcement. But it wasn’t until I read these articles that I started getting really angry.

“I’m 25, and I Have the Angie Gene.”

“I had the Angelina Jolie Mastectomy.”

Wait. What? I mean, all this exposure – great. You know what they say: “No press is bad press.” And while breast cancer is definitely on the radar – one need only take one look at the vomit-pink legions of websites out there to know that – ovarian cancer is sadly not as much, and hereditary exposure to eitheris sadly lacking a lot of coverage.

But when I read headlines like this, I feel like my experience is trivialized. Yes, Angelina had this surgery and yes, she was back to normal not too long after. So was I – I was back to work, in limited fashion, within a couple of weeks – but that is not everyone’s story.

Ladies and gentlemen, preventive mastectomy and reconstruction is not as easy as walking into a surgery center and walking out with a new set of breasts. Let me give you the dirty nasty of it, and this is from a textbook-perfect, no-complications procedure. From start to finish, these are some of the things I had to deal with:

  • People questioning my decision. (to which I would have answered with this Tumblr entry, if it had existed last year)
  • Getting the time off work and having to explain my situation to qualify for FMLA leave – an almost insurmountable task, in and of itself
  • Deciding whether or not I would opt for a bilateral oopherectomy at the same time. I decided not to, but that’s a post for another day.
  • Explaining my decision to every. single. well-meaning. nurse and doctor at the hospital where I had my procedure
  • A two-night stay in hospital over Independence Day weekend, and sharing a hallway with a narcotic-seeking frequent flier
  • Being under the influence of enough painkillers to down a horse for almost a week. One gets so excited about having a week off work until one realizes that entire time will be spent in an opiate haze (and don’t suggest marijuana to me; it’s more than my job’s worth to try!)
  • Two Jackson-Pratt drains underneath my skin and wrapped around the expanders, which had to be drained three times daily. AJ had six. SIX?! I could barely even deal with two.
  • Sleeping on the couch for two weeks, sleeping with five thousand pillows underneath me for three more, and not being able to sleep on my stomach for six months.
  • The feeling of two rock hard pits of saline underneath my pectoralis muscles. Occasionally they would start to migrate toward my armpit, and in the early days, they wibbled and wobbled painfully under my flesh.
  • Fielding well-meaning inquiry by coworkers, friends, and family, which is appreciated, but exhausting
  • Exchange surgery in a day-surgery center. I cried more during my exchange than anything else: the nurses here were cold, rude, and performed their tasks in a way that was so perfunctory it bordered on brutal. I was in constant pain, they didn’t listen to me, and busted a vein in the process.
  • Returning to work only to find out that no, lifting a four-liter jug of water and reaching for racks of samples is not a good idea four days post-op
  • Getting new insurance and having to fight for nipple reconstruction.

It’s not glamorous, it’s not A-list; the above is the nitty-gritty, which is to say nothing – nothing – of what the ladies that call themselves the Complication Nation have to deal with. The worst part is that the articles that offended me so badly are actually well-thought out and well written. However, in a nation of people that read headlines and little else, suddenly I find myself having to explain that yes, everyone has this gene, it’s a mutation in said gene that causes my increased risk of breast cancer, and yes, really, it is not just breast but ovarian cancer, as well, and yes, absolutely I do think Angelina Jolie was brave in coming out in the face of all the public scrutiny she’d receive.

So, let me take the time to remind my readers, however many of you there are, of a few things.

When you are BRCA-positive, you have a lot of very tough decisions to make. The decision to remove my breasts was easy for me, but it can be very hard for others to make. I still struggle with the idea of losing my ovaries and am desperately hoping that the studies on salpingectomy (removing one’s fallopian tubes instead of all the plumbing) pan out.

BRCA mutations have been documented for years and research is ongoingIf you have the resources, I highly suggest donating to the newly-founded Basser Research Center for BRCA, which has ongoing studies in outreach, risk assessment, prevention of hereditary cancer, and treatment

Preventive mastectomy and oopherectomy are not your only options for prevention. Thousands of carriers of BRCA mutations, both female and male (and yes, men can and DO carry BRCA mutations, and it does affect them!) have opted for surveillance options, including semi-annual MRI and mammography, CA125 monitoring, and preventive tamoxifen regimens. If you are not comfortable with the idea of removing your tissue, you do have options.

Because I chose to remove my breasts, I did not opt for self-mutilation. I read this article and absolutely fumed. More accurately, I stormed around the house spewing expletives, none of which are appropriate for the blog, or for public usage. Doubtless some were creative, I’m sure. Let me emphasize this: While clean eating and exercise are always a great idea, for carriers of BRCA mutations, no amount of juicing, raspberry ketones, homeopathic treatment, or chemical avoidance will mitigate the fact that one of your biological pathways is broken.

I suppose that’s probably it. I will step off my soapbox for now, and leave you with some links and resources that may help you sort out this post-NYT babble:

Thanks for reading!

Image provided by Flickr user dullhunk. Used under a Creative Commons license

Nipple delay

Wondering what a nipple delay is? I was too! I hadn’t heard of this procedure until Angelina Jolie announced to the world that she underwent a prophylactic double mastectomy and this procedure was part of the process.

Since that announcement, many different articles and opinions have been published. A lot of them positive, but a few negative. That’s another post for another day. A few pieces did provide more information on the nipple delay procedure.

Breast Reconstruction Guidebook Figure 1.1What is nipple delay?

During the nipple delay procedure, the surgeon makes an incision in the skin and severs the breast tissue and blood vessels directly beneath the nipple (it remains attached to the surrounding skin). Due to this, the nipple is no longer dependent upon the blood supply directly beneath it and becomes accustomed to getting its blood supply through the skin. According to the Pink Lotus Breast Center blog, it actually recruits additional blood flow not previously established.

This is an uncommon procedure. If it is elected, it is performed some time before the mastectomy; two weeks for Angelina Jolie.

Why have a nipple delay?

Surgical nipple delay is used to decrease likelihood of nipple necrosis, which can occur because of loss of blood supply and can lead to nipple loss, following a nipple-sparing mastectomy.

Breast skin is fragile after mastectomy. If it’s exceptionally thin after the breast tissue is cut away or is handled too roughly, it may die. The same result may occur if the breast surgeon severs too many blood vessels that feed the skin or uses eletrocautery too aggressively and burns the inside of the skin, which may then blister and die.
– Steligo, Kathy. Breast Reconstruction Guidebook: Issues and Answers from Research to Recovery. Maryland: The Johns Hopkins University Press, 2012. Print, third edition.

I was not informed of this option prior to my own nipple-sparing mastectomy. My compromised blood flow resulted in necrosis on my left breast and I lost a nipple. If you are interested in reading about my bout with necrosis (including photos) and the hyperbaric treatment I underwent in an effort to thwart it, please read Tissue necrosis.

Related articles:

Source of Figure 1.1: Steligo, Kathy. Breast Reconstruction Guidebook: Issues and Answers from Research to Recovery. Maryland: The Johns Hopkins University Press, 2012. Print, third edition.

Angelina Jolie: I decided to be proactive

AngelinaJolieThe HBOC community is buzzing today. I’m sure you’ve already heard the news: Angelina Jolie underwent a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy in February ’13. She also revealed that she carries a mutated BRCA1 gene in an op-ed piece she wrote for the New York Times.

I wanted to write this to tell other women that the decision to have a mastectomy was not easy. But it is one I am very happy that I made.

For any woman reading this, I hope it helps you to know you have options. I want to encourage every woman, especially if you have a family history of breast or ovarian cancer, to seek out the information and medical experts who can help you through this aspect of your life, and to make your own informed choices. – Angelina Jolie

I’m very thankful and excited that she has decided to share her story. Along with Sharon Osbourne, Allyn Rose, Giuliana Rancic, Christina Applegate, Sheryl Crow, and other women in the limelight, she is using her platform to educate and bring awareness to hereditary breast and ovarian cancer. The story was the main feature on the CNN.com website the day the op-ed piece was published!

Just like me, Angelina Jolie had a nipple-sparing double mastectomy and chose the expander/implant route for breast reconstruction. She first had a nipple delay procedure, which is an extra step done two weeks prior to the mastectomy (see: Nipple delay). She had an inframammary fold incision, allograft, and a whopping six (!!!) drains post-op. The Pink Lotus Breast Center, where Angelina Jolie had her PMB, has posted more details of her journey. Read their great blog post.

Related articles:

Fourth expansion

WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

Another fill behind me. We took it back down a notch from 75 and added 50ccs to each expander, for a total of 350ccs/side. I’m not sure that you can see much of the difference in the photo, whic is at the bottom of this post.

I must say that I feel better after this fill than I did after the previous three. Typically I wake up on Saturday and it takes me a while to get going. This morning I didn’t feel much pain at all – no ibuprofen needed. I went food shopping and cleaned the whole house. I hope I don’t regret this tomorrow! Fingers crossed that this continues for the next four fills.

To celebrate my over-the-hump expansion (four down, four to go), I present to you: t-rex. In a previous post (see: Shower time) I joked that I had t-rex arms because of my limited range of motion right after the mastectomy. I could barely scratch my head (or butt) for a few days. I got this shirt shortly after. Enjoy!

Ask me about my t-rex

2013_5_10 fills

100 + 50 +75 +75 + 50 = 350ccs

World Ovarian Cancer Day

May 8, 2013World Ovarian Cancer Day: today is the first official World Ovarian Cancer Day.

Did you know that ovarian cancer has the lowest survival rate of gynecologic cancers? Almost a quarter million women are diagnosed each year and it is responsible for 140,000 deaths.

It is important to know the symptoms, which are often misdiagnosed. Do you know what they are? From the World Ovarian Cancer Day website:

  • Increased abdominal size / persistent bloating (not bloating that comes and goes)
  • Difficulty eating/feeling full quickly
  • Abdominal or pelvic pain
  • Needing to pass urine more urgently or more frequently

Early diagnosis greatly increases a woman’s chance of survival, however, women are usually diagnosed at a late stage as often the symptoms are attributed to menopause or digestive issues. This is all so familiar to me.

My mother’s story

Those of you who have been following my blog for a while already know that my mother is currently undergoing chemotherapy treatment for ovarian cancer. She was diagnosed less than a year ago, in June ’12.

Just like described above, she thought her discomfort and swollen belly were related to digestive issues. She was experiencing abdominal pain on her left side and frequently had to use the bathroom. A colonoscopy was scheduled to investigate what in her GI tract was causing this problem. The doctor was unable to complete the procedure – in the five months since her last abdominal/vaginal ultrasound, a tumor developed in her left ovary and grew so large (the size of a balled-up fist) that it restricted the large intestine.

The initial surgery removed a few outlying lumps, but majority of the mass was left intact. As of today, she completed six chemo treatments in Fall ’12 and five of six treatments in Spring ’13. Her doctors are optimistic and believe that her prognosis is good.

I’m scared. Our small family is devastated. My mother is weak and in pain. My father is struggling to support her physically, mentally, and emotionally. My sister (and her son) moved in with my parents to help however she can. I am helplessly watching and trying to support them all from thousands of miles away. I have hope that she will beat those awful odds that are against her.

Ladies, please talk to your doctor. Start those ultrasounds if you aren’t already doing them, especially if breast and/or ovarian cancer are prevalent in your family.

We’re getting there – third expansion

WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

Fill number three is done.  We added 75ccs to each expander, for a total of 300ccs/side (pic below). It is about the same on the pain scale as it was last time – nothing initially, but feeling pressure the next morning. I continue to slather these things with cocoa butter oil with vitamin E to keep the skin soft and prevent stretch marks. So far so good. If you missed the scoop on the first two fills, see: They’re growing and They’re back.

Since I still haven’t decided just how big I want to go, while I was in for the fill I checked in with my plastic surgeon to get his feedback (I trust that he has an eye for these things). Another 150ccs or so will be just right based on my body size and shape. Ultimately, it is up to me how many ccs will be the sweet spot, but I do agree that we’re not there yet. So we are going to continue the fills until I’m happy. What then?

Once the desired size is reached, there are two more 50cc fills done. As you see in my photos, the tissue expanders are kind of boxy and sit high up on the chest wall. The additional expansions are done to overstretch the skin and muscle, so that when the final implant is placed it has a more natural shape. When the expansions are done, we wait four to six weeks before we move on to the next step.

Exchange surgery

When we’re done will all of the fills, including the overfilling step, an exchange surgery is performed. This is an outpatient procedure during which the plastic surgeon exchanges the tissue expanders for saline or silicone implants.

I asked how far out they are booking surgeries for Dr. M and quickly realized that I need to get something on the books STAT. The first available date is September 3rd. That is over four months away!!! My (sarcastic) thanks to Dusky, my rebel left nipple. Had I not experienced necrosis (see Tissue necrosis), we would’ve started the expansion process about two months sooner. What can I do about it? Be grateful that necrosis was as bad as it got.

Current plan: three more 50cc expansions + two 50cc expansions to overfill = 550ccs. Here’s to a Dolly Parton-esque summer! Not sure if this is good or bad. Thoughts? I’ll be celebrating my last expansion with July 4th fireworks. On this day last year, I was struggling to enjoy myself while hanging out with friends at the beach. I didn’t get the call that was supposed to come on July 3rd – the results of my biopsies. I spent July 4th entertaining thoughts of tumors, cysts, breast cancer, chemo, and worse, rather than enjoying fireworks and my friends. It was a really bad day. What a difference a year makes.

Anyway, watch my boobs grow!

Fills 2013_4_27

100 + 50 +75 +75 = 300ccs

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

InspirationalBloggerAwardI am thrilled to accept the Very Inspiring Blogger Award from a fellow blogger!

I am touched and very appreciative of this award from Helen who writes My Lymph Node Transplant. Helen is an amazing lady who just underwent a lymph node transplant after living with lymphodema for 11 years – it resulted from a leg surgery related to cancer. She has been documenting her incredible journey and her blog is a great resource that brings awareness to this health condition. Make sure to stop by and read her inspirational story.

I found that there are actually rules and directions that come with this award, such as: link back to the blogger who nominated you and post the award image on your page. Check and Check. Then there are these two:

Share 7 facts about yourself.

If you haven’t already seen my About Me page, here are some random tid bits (you’re getting more than 7): I’m 32, married, no kids, two cats. I ♥ P90X and old school TaeBo. I maintain a plant based, whole foods diet. I like avocados and blueberries. English is my second language. My favorite color is green. I watch Survivor. I’m a casual gamer (Alliance FTW!). Also, I like big butts and I cannot lie (haha, jk).

Nominate other blogs and inform them about it.

(Cracks knuckles) Here are some really amazing Ladies that inspire me for various reasons, but mainly because they are just bad ass. They write blogs or make YouTube videos, and others run whole sites/projects, but rules are made to be broken :). Make sure to check out the other blogs and sites listed on the right under Relevant Blogs & Sites. Now, in no particular order: