Tag Archives: health

So it goes

It has been two years since I had my prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. January 22, 2013 was the day. At the time, I expected the breast reconstruction process to take somewhere around six months. Well, two years later I am uniboobin’ it once again and it will be at least another six months before I will have my next (last?) exchange surgery.

So it goes.

This process has not been easy. I’ve hit a couple of significant snags, but I still say this: I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. Knowing what would come my way, if I had to go back in time and contemplate moving forward, but not being able to change anything, I would make the same decision and do this all over again. I won’t lie, I have had bad days. They don’t come often, but they do. On those days I choose to take a deep breath and focus on the big picture and the positive. I consider the reason why I made this decision in the first place. I said NOPE to breast cancer and I would do it all over again. I choose to accept and look forward. So it goes.

Attitude

Here’s a recap of my procedures:

01/2013 – Prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with tissue expander placement
09/2013 – Exchange surgery
10/2013 – Infection and left implant removal
04/2014 – Expander placement and revision surgery
09/2014 – Exchange surgery
10/2014 – Right implant removal

In just a few days, on January 27, I will have surgery #7. During this procedure, Dr. M will be placing a tissue expander on my right side. Over the coming months I will again go through the expansion process until I reach 550ccs. My exchange surgery is scheduled for July 23. I feel like I’m a surgery pro at this point. The coordinator from the hospital called today and we very briefly talked about logistics of the day of surgery. She remembered talking to me before and admitted I received the condensed version of the spiel. Fine by me. I know the drill by now. I’m ready to go! Last thing to do is review my handy dandy surgery prep checklist and gather a few items.

Will I have a drain again? Will everything go OK? Will I have any more complications? I hope not, but if I do … so it goes. Shit happens. We deal with it, because we have to. Happiness (or misery) is in the heart, not in the circumstances.

You’re up

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I got the call. Woo hoo! I got the call that made my day. It really made my month. There has been a cancellation and an earlier spot is available on Dr. M’s calendar. I’ve been bugging the Patient Care Coordinator for a few months now and have been at the top of the cancellation list, so the spot is all mine. My next surgery has been moved up to January 27!

That’s only two weeks away! I am ecstatic. Thee months into the six month wait, but I’ll take it!

During this surgery we are going to be placing a tissue expander on the right side, where we had to deconstruct after the last incident in October. I also got the exchange surgery penciled in for July 23. I’m at the top of that cancellation list too and may be up sooner. There is a slight chance that I’ll go right to implant and not need surgery #8, but I’m not holding my breath.

That is all. Just this awesomely good news. 🙂

Drain pockets

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Ladies getting ready for surgery, here’s a really great video on how to make your own drain pockets for just $4. Got a sewing machine? You can do it and they will come in handy!

Also, see my checklist for other things that make recovery a bit easier.

Pinking of the NFL

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I am a big fan of Spike’s Ink Master. It is an elimination-style reality show, where tattoo artists compete for $100,000 and a feature in Inked Magazine. On one of the final episodes last season, artists did post-mastectomy tattoos for breast cancer survivors. There were some beautiful pieces in there! Episode highlights here.

This season there is also a breast cancer-related episode and it airs tonight (November 18 @ 10pm EST on Spike). DeAngelo Williams of the Carolina Panthers appears as a guest judge. He talks about his mom and her four sisters who all died from breast cancer. The artists are designing a piece to honor DeAngelo’s family. What he doesn’t say in the previews, and I’m not sure if he mentions in the full show, is that his mother and her sisters all carried a mutated BRCA1 gene, which they inherited from their father, DeAngelo’s grandfather. He and his two sisters are negative for the mutation.

What does this have to do with the pinking of the NFL? I don’t watch football and don’t follow the athletes at all, but I have noticed that there’s an awful lot of pink out there. I did not know DeAngelo’s story or that he is largely responsible for the players of the NFL wearing pink during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. His mom was the inspiration behind the idea for players to start wearing pink cleats five years ago.

Breast cancer has affected me to my core. I’ll never forget the loss of my family members. But it also allowed me to use the platform I have in the National Football League to bring awareness all over the country. -DeAngelo Williams

In the BC and HBOC worlds there has been a lot of talk around awareness (aren’t we all aware?), the love or hate for the month of October (aka Pinktober), and pinkwashing, but that’s another topic for another day. I am just sharing the previously-unknown-to-me sotry of the pink in the NFL. Are you going to watch tonight? I am!

Related articles:

Wear Pink For My Mom, Who Lived to Love (by DeAngelo Williams, si.com)

Prosthesis v2

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WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

After I lost an implant the first time, my husband and I were planning a trip to visit his family in the Caribbean. Prior to going on that trip, I got a breast prosthesis, so that we could avoid awkward conversations about my health with distant relatives; in Spanish, nonetheless.

Well, as you already know, I’ve lost another implant. On an average day when I’m running errands or meeting friends for lunch, I go as I am and don’t even think about it. Also, I work from home. No boob? No pants? No problem! 🙂 However, I will again be traveling in the near future, but this time it will be a trip to corporate HQ to show face and meet some new team members. So I got another prosthesis. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shy about sharing my story (hello, blogosphere) and I am not embarrassed when uniboobin’ it, but in some close-encounter situations I don’t want to be focusing on and explaining my lack of mammary.

I made an appointment for a fitting at a local boutique that specializes in “image consulting.” Since I have gone up in size by 100ccs from the last time I needed one, it wasn’t as easy as just ordering another one. After a couple of tries, we found the right form to complement my current breast. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty darn close. I also picked out three new bras. My insurance provider covers the prosthesis as well as bras. In fact, they cover up to six bras per year (this varies, so check with your provider). Most boutiques and stores like Nordstrom work with insurance and even submit the paperwork for you.

Here it is. It is lightweight and comfortable. Looks good under clothing too.

By the way, this is working from home with cats (not my vid, but accurate):

Yep, looking good

One day at a time

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It has been almost a month from the day my right implant was taken out. Since then I have had my drain removed, celebrated my 34th birthday, ordered another breast prosthesis, developed a seroma, had a poking stitch pulled out, scheduled my next surgery for April 9, 2015, had my bi-annual ovarian screening ultrasound, and went to a Boobvoyage party for a friend getting ready for her PBM (which is today), among many other things. It was also breast cancer awareness month, which meant lots of local events representing FORCE and supporting our community. It has been a busy month.

Today, just like any day, I am thinking of my mom. But on this day, I am overwhelmed by grief. It is one year since she died.

I am sad she is not here to celebrate the birthdays, offer her support, or be on the other end of the phone or Skype conversation to share even the mundane little things in life. I am sad that my dad lost his best friend and soul mate. I am sad that my sister is probably feeling the same things I am and that my nephew lost his loving, caring, spoiling-him-rotten grandmother. I am sad that my mom is not here to live her life and take part in ours. I am sad that my family has been so deeply affected by cancer and suffered so much loss. I am sad and still hurting.

Each and every day I think about and miss her.

Fuck cancer!

Déjà vu

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WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below. I can't even

A month after my last surgery, during which we swapped the tissue expander on left and adjusted pocket on right, I am again uniboobin‘ it. Déjà vu? Twilight Zone? Groundhog Year?

Yes, that is right, I have lost another implant. This time it is the right one. Everybody together now: WTF?!? DARN IT! I am really feeling dejected. I literally can’t even … (not me~>)

So what happened this time?

This was different than last year, but the outcome is the same, unfortunately. Sunday during my typical post-shower wound inspection, I noticed that there was a tiny inflamed spot on my right breast on old, already healed incision. It got a bit bigger by end of day. Monday morning I went in to see Dr. M. Both him and one of the nurses suspected it was an internal stitch trying to make its way out.

That’s not so bad, right? Just a little stitch. Dr. M advised me to do a warm compress three times per day and keep a very close eye on it. A couple of days later the area started bulging out and I could see yellow puss inside. Thursday morning I sent an email to Dr. M, with an update but I knew he was in surgery. Early afternoon I did the compress, which made the abscess open. After all the goo drained and the stitch knot came out, I was left with another hole. I knew what was coming :(. Went to see the nurse right away. She took cultures and started making calls to coordinate my surgery for the next day, during which I had the right implant removed, pocket cleaned out, and closed back up without inserting another implant.

So … here I am with one breast again AND I got another drain. Fun fun! I go in for follow up on Monday to find out what is next. This is like a rerun nobody wants to watch. Especially not me. Last year I had exchange 9/3, implant taken out 10/15, expander placed 4/10, exchange surgery 9/11, and this implant out 10/10. At this pace, it will take another year.

Enjoy the visual (kind of gross):

Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

Bra shopping

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WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

My exchange surgery was on September 11. We swapped out the tissue expander on my left and made a pocket revision to correct the implant bottoming out on the right. The follow up appointment was two weeks later. Everything feels and looks relatively good. Some twinges of pain here and there, but that is to be expected. As far as my results: small issue, but it’s still early as things will change and settle for a while. My next follow up is at six weeks.

I have been wearing this sexy little hospital-issued number almost 24/7 and was hoping to hear that I could ditch it. Well, I can burn that one, but I do need to continue wearing something. It should be wire-free, but have a tight band. I set out bra shopping this weekend and quickly became frustrated! The first two stores didn’t even carry a 32. I ended at Victoria’s Secret, where I should have started, but that was tiring too. It seems that out of the 23049814 bras VS carries, only a few are wire-free.

First tried on the Perfect Comfort Demi Push-Up in 32DD. Too much padding, I’m still spilling out (no DDD), and the VS girl didn’t know her shit – it has an underwire. I went home with two of the Sexy Tee Wireless Bra in 32D. It truly is wire-free and has no extra padding.

VS bras

Update: I also went to Nordstrom Monday. My location does not work with United Healthcare, but they offered to provide the paperwork and I can file it myself for UHC to review and decide on.

I didn’t mention this option originally, but should have. As Joyce wrote in the post comments, Nordstrom has fitters and works with most insurance companies for post-mastectomy bra needs. They will find the right bra and file paperwork for the insurance company to cover the expense. Appointment required.

I bought How Perfect by Wacoal in 32D. It is super soft! Love it.

The results

As I mentioned things are looking pretty good, but I do see a small issue: asymmetry. Prior to this surgery my right implant had bottomed out and was lower than the left. Now I am seeing the opposite, although not as much of a difference. I also have a sneaking suspicion that my right side is getting tighter, which may be a sign of capsular contracture, but I don’t want to panic just yet and continue to massage like Dr. M advised.

It is still early and things will continue changing. This may be a non-issue in a few months or it may be worse .. we shall see. In any case, I am just pointing out what I see now. I have not lost sight of the big picture and reason for all of this: I said NOPE to breast cancer! In the words of the wise Casey Eischen: “Prevention, not perfection.” 🙂 ❤

These things really don’t look like a D naked, but you know bras are like jeans: there are multiple ways to measure and it seems like every brand does it their own way. The bras I bought will serve for the next month. After that I hope I can go bra-free.

Reminder: Mentor round, smooth, high profile silicone implants in 450ccs.