Pinking of the NFL

I am a big fan of Spike’s Ink Master. It is an elimination-style reality show, where tattoo artists compete for $100,000 and a feature in Inked Magazine. On one of the final episodes last season, artists did post-mastectomy tattoos for breast cancer survivors. There were some beautiful pieces in there! Episode highlights here.

This season there is also a breast cancer-related episode and it airs tonight (November 18 @ 10pm EST on Spike). DeAngelo Williams of the Carolina Panthers appears as a guest judge. He talks about his mom and her four sisters who all died from breast cancer. The artists are designing a piece to honor DeAngelo’s family. What he doesn’t say in the previews, and I’m not sure if he mentions in the full show, is that his mother and her sisters all carried a mutated BRCA1 gene, which they inherited from their father, DeAngelo’s grandfather. He and his two sisters are negative for the mutation.

What does this have to do with the pinking of the NFL? I don’t watch football and don’t follow the athletes at all, but I have noticed that there’s an awful lot of pink out there. I did not know DeAngelo’s story or that he is largely responsible for the players of the NFL wearing pink during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. His mom was the inspiration behind the idea for players to start wearing pink cleats five years ago.

Breast cancer has affected me to my core. I’ll never forget the loss of my family members. But it also allowed me to use the platform I have in the National Football League to bring awareness all over the country. -DeAngelo Williams

In the BC and HBOC worlds there has been a lot of talk around awareness (aren’t we all aware?), the love or hate for the month of October (aka Pinktober), and pinkwashing, but that’s another topic for another day. I am just sharing the previously-unknown-to-me sotry of the pink in the NFL. Are you going to watch tonight? I am!

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Prosthesis v2

WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

After I lost an implant the first time, my husband and I were planning a trip to visit his family in the Caribbean. Prior to going on that trip, I got a breast prosthesis, so that we could avoid awkward conversations about my health with distant relatives; in Spanish, nonetheless.

no pantsWell, as you already know, I’ve lost another implant. On an average day when I’m running errands or meeting friends for lunch, I go as I am and don’t even think about it. Also, I work from home. No boob? No pants? No problem! :) However, I will again be traveling in the near future, but this time it will be a trip to corporate HQ to show face and meet some new team members. So I got another prosthesis. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shy about sharing my story (hello, blogosphere) and I am not embarrassed when uniboobin’ it, but in some close-encounter situations I don’t want to be focusing on and explaining my lack of mammary.

I made an appointment for a fitting at a local boutique that specializes in “image consulting.” Since I have gone up in size by 100ccs from the last time I needed one, it wasn’t as easy as just ordering another one. After a couple of tries, we found the right form to complement my current breast. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty darn close. I also picked out three new bras. My insurance provider covers the prosthesis as well as bras. In fact, they cover up to six bras per year (this varies, so check with your provider). Most boutiques and stores like Nordstrom work with insurance and even submit the paperwork for you.

Here it is. It is lightweight and comfortable. Looks good under clothing too.

2014_11_13

 

By the way, this is working from home with cats (not my vid, but accurate):

Yep, looking good

WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.

Yesterday was my one-month follow up after the removal of my right implant. It was also two weeks since the seroma was drained and small stitched pulled. Yep, looking good. The seroma is no more and the post-stitch hole has healed.

The only thing that’s wonky is the scar on the left side. It is sunken in as if stuck to something inside. I have not seen this before and asked Dr. M if I could massage this issue away, to which he responded that I could sure try. Worst case, he can fix it later. I had same reaction to that as my hub did when I told him: nope, not doing that. No more procedures unless absolutely, without question necessary to finish reconstruction.

My objective for this appointment was to get a thumbs up for surgery sooner than April. Right now I’m on the schedule for April 9th, which is six months after the removal. During this procedure we are going to be placing a tissue expander on the flat side. I got what I wanted and can do it sooner. Mandatory wait of only three months (January), BUT Dr. M is booked solid, so there goes that. I’ll check in with scheduling monthly for openings. Fingers crossed!

Later this week I have an appointment to pick up my prosthesis. Hopefully it will fit well. I’ll update once I have it. Until then, photos of my current state and the wonky scar:

2014_11_11  scar

One day at a time

It has been almost a month from the day my right implant was taken out. Since then I have had my drain removed, celebrated my 34th birthday, ordered another breast prosthesis, developed a seroma, had a poking stitch pulled out, scheduled my next surgery for April 9, 2015, had my bi-annual ovarian screening ultrasound, and went to a Boobvoyage party for a friend getting ready for her PBM (which is today), among many other things. It was also breast cancer awareness month, which meant lots of local events representing FORCE and supporting our community. It has been a busy month.

Today, just like any day, I am thinking of my mom. But on this day, I am overwhelmed by grief. It is one year since she died.

I am sad she is not here to celebrate the birthdays, offer her support, or be on the other end of the phone or Skype conversation to share even the mundane little things in life. I am sad that my dad lost his best friend and soul mate. I am sad that my sister is probably feeling the same things I am and that my nephew lost his loving, caring, spoiling-him-rotten grandmother. I am sad that my mom is not here to live her life and take part in ours. I am sad that my family has been so deeply affected by cancer and suffered so much loss. I am sad and still hurting.

Each and every day I think about and miss her.

Fuck cancer!

Déjà vu

WARNING: NSFW / graphic content below.I can't even

A month after my last surgery, during which we swapped the tissue expander on left and adjusted pocket on right, I am again uniboobin‘ it. Déjà vu? Twilight Zone? Groundhog Year?

Yes, that is right, I have lost another implant. This time it is the right one. Everybody together now: WTF?!? DARN IT! I am really feeling dejected. I literally can’t even … (not me~>)

So what happened this time?

This was different than last year, but the outcome is the same, unfortunately. Sunday during my typical post-shower wound inspection, I noticed that there was a tiny inflamed spot on my right breast on old, already healed incision. It got a bit bigger by end of day. Monday morning I went in to see Dr. M. Both him and one of the nurses suspected it was an internal stitch trying to make its way out.

That’s not so bad, right? Just a little stitch. Dr. M advised me to do a warm compress three times per day and keep a very close eye on it. A couple of days later the area started bulging out and I could see yellow puss inside. Thursday morning I sent an email to Dr. M, with an update but I knew he was in surgery. Early afternoon I did the compress, which made the abscess open. After all the goo drained and the stitch knot came out, I was left with another hole. I knew what was coming :(. Went to see the nurse right away. She took cultures and started making calls to coordinate my surgery for the next day, during which I had the right implant removed, pocket cleaned out, and closed back up without inserting another implant.

So … here I am with one breast again AND I got another drain. Fun fun! I go in for follow up on Monday to find out what is next. This is like a rerun nobody wants to watch. Especially not me. Last year I had exchange 9/3, implant taken out 10/15, expander placed 4/10, exchange surgery 9/11, and this implant out 10/10. At this pace, it will take another year.

Enjoy the visual (kind of gross):

Abscess